And so the Pixie began another day

Hello Ha! to you all
Well I,m not so bored today I went to the beach and wrote in my Journal the pen and paper type you know. Released some inner thoughts that needed to be. While listerning to this super track on my mp3 Jen got me to buy, its by Zero7 called In the waiting line. Its in the movie Garden State in the bit when everyones high on drugs of some sort and everythings moving rapidly fast apart from this one guy who sits there and smiles. I luvs that movie if its got a good soundtrack its got to be good or so Jen has shown me.

Been trying to stick to one journal really I seem to wonder from one notebook to another. Haveing ramdom entrys,doodles and poems from different parts of my life. My life has taken so many changes that its hard to keep track of it in a journal. And I,m also very precise on the kind of notebook don,t ask me why I guess being an artist I have to have everything just so. Oh but I remember the journals I used to have. My dearest cousin Danielle (A most darling girl we are how we like to say the bestest cousins as to bestest friends) started me on the desire to keep a journal. She herself kept one she showed me it one day. It was full of all sorts of things. Of course her daily entrys but also photos,letters,stickers from this or that and I recall a piece of a old leather belt that she had found stuck in the book coz it reminded her of that day.

It was such a expression of her and her life I thought I must start my own. And I have ever since. I remember when we met in the holidays we would get out are journals and show each other stuff we,d done or (my) drawings that I had sketched inside such as ideas for a paintings or charecters. And we would leave messages in each others I think. It was all a long while ago and I,m not shore what has happened to those journals of mine there around here somewhere in my pile on pile of things ramshackled room.

HHmm I would like to do more painting and drawing but I,m feeling a little lost for inspiration at the mo. Its like a writers block I soppose. Maybe I just need to start doodling and then KaBoom! it,ll happen I,ll see something in what I have just done and reel off a hole loada ideas that where just hideing round the corner. Its happened before I,ll try it again. I just sometimes get pissed off with myself I,ll look at a drawing I did from shall we say last week I,ll look at it again and think what complete shit! This just isn,t good enough yet everyone will say "what you talking about its really good" which is very nice of them to say so but I,ll still feel the same way about it whatever they say.

I know I,m good at what I do its one of things atleast I know I,m really good at. But hey I,m a perfectionist what artist isn,t? I need a muse or something what exactly is a muse anyhow? something or someone who gives the artist a flow of insperation I soppose but if anyone has a clear idea on what it is do fill me in.

Well I think thats all I can think of to put for now
see you my sweets xxx
*Pixie waves untill all that can be seen of her is a small speck of fluttering wings*